9:48AM
Say "Cholecystectomy" Ten Times Fast
Sunday, January 9, 2011 at 9:48AM | by Otter 
Gallbladder in Repose. Anonymous Illustration.Staying with my dad in the hospital recently, I was sending out email updates on the paternal health to my siblings. Too much time in hospitals makes you a little crazy, and when I get crazy I write doggerel about internal organs. As my dad had apparently developed a bad case of foie gras, I went with that. So this is what the sibs got.
ON THE GALLBLADDER
The family's connections grew sadder and sadder
O'er the state of the paternal gallbladder.
It seemed to them all that the holiday sucked
because of the pain in the bilious duct.
But no matter how rancid the bile-duct became,
The Pater Familias remained in the game
Until agonized pain at the base of the sternum
Made him wilt and wax withered like a rain-starved laburnum.
No rad-tech, no doctor had quite the cunning
to get the old geezer back into the running;
But now there's a plan! We are happy as kings!
It involves anesthesia and scalpels and things!
"They think now they know what has made such a wreck o' me:
Tomorrow they'll perform a cholecystectomy!
I'll live without bladders that concentrate bile!
I'll live a teetotaler in a fatty-free style!
I'll do without butter, or the fat of the cow!
Wait... what am I saying...? Just kill me now."
Reader Comments (4)
Very amusing.
My gall bladder has been out for three years now and I don't miss it at all. I was disappointed they wouldn't let me have it in a specimen jar. "Bio-hazard" blah, blah, blah.
Tell your dad that any strong pain after the surgery is worth communicating to his doctor. Don't ignore pain!
Brilliant! Shows definite signs of having been composed during a semester break, with no annoying student writing to read/grade.
Our best to the PaterFamilias.
One must ask: How *does* one propose to live GB-free in/around the Crescent City? Has it ever been done?
Hail the Paterfamilais.... :hug:
cute! wishing much strength to your familia.