Bachmann Of Borg: Prepare To Be Assimilated.

I know I'm obsessing a little about Michelle Bachmann, but she really gets on my nerves and worries me.

Here she is getting into the groove that evangelicals get into when they play footsie with the Eternal: 

You can tell she's serious by how often she calls God "Lord," and by the use of "Jehovah," an unrecognizably Anglicized form of an obscure Hebrew proper noun.

You get points for repitition.  There's a kind of Godgasm that builds up in such prayers if they go on long enough.  When people think they're speaking Hebrew ("We worship you, Jehovah Nissi, Jehovah Jireh"), expect fireworks.

Note also the constant use of "we."  I love it when people tell God in prayers what "we" think, believe, feel, or intend.  It's best if they click their tongue when they do it:

"Jehovah Lord, we *tsk* THANK you, Jehovah Lord, for your great gifts.  We just want to *tsk* acknowledge, Jehovah Lord, that you are Lord."

I don't know what it means, but it seems to get the ball rolling.

Imagine talking to your friends and spouses that way: "I just want to ask you, Ted, *tsk* that you be Ted in my life.  And I want to tell you *tsk*, Ted, that we give you, Dear Ted, just *tsk* all the glory..."

Personally, if one of my friends talked to me that way, I'd deck them after five minutes.  Die, you son of a whore.

Even if you believe (as I do) that the whole god-thing and prayer-thing is not total bullshit, you have to give some strenuous worry to the hive-mind that unabashedly tells God what "we" are all about.

HOMEWORK: Go to church, and when some asshole tells God what "we" are thinking and feeling, pipe up and say, "Actually, I wasn't.  I was thinking about sex."

EXTRA CREDIT: Pray aloud, "Dear Lord, *tsk* we just want to thank you for really good single malt scotch whiskey.  And *tsk* we thank you for football, and for *tsk* sex, dear Lord, especially with hot people in erotic underclothing.  And *tsk* we give you all the glory for all the sex and football and single malt scotch whiskey...."

Anyway, there's no way in the universe that I'm voting for anybody who does not renounce the belief that Jesus wants to heal gay people, or who believes that the Book of Joshua has even rudimentary ancient-world morals, or who thinks that the End Times and the destruction of the nations as forecasted in the Hebrew prophets as a response to the unveiling of Messiah s a really good desirable idea. 

We just *tsk* can't do it.