Certified, Part 2: More Adventures in Grading

The Festival of Hell that is grading 102 papers goes on.  I wish to emphasize that this is 102: that implies that some genial idiot has passed these people through 101.   What follows is from the final drafts.  I am renaming "Rough Drafts" for these sections "Fucking Trainwreck Drafts" and penalizing them for turning in Trainwrecks by making them rewrite every sentence.

• Men also abuse women because they tend to be aggressive over time, and because some men bring home the money and food to the dinner table, he thinks that make him the dominating one. Majority of men have short temper, low self-esteem, and strive for power in the relationship.

Me bring home bacon.  You fry up in pan.  Me angry, settle childhood issues by abusing comma.

• Society has changed and evolved as the years have gone by.

You played it for her, you can play it for me.  Play it, Sam.  "You must remember this: education's pissed / society is on the fly, as time goes by...."

• Most rapes occur when she/he trust someone they barely know had steps outside of their comfort zone.

Statutory subject-verb agreement error occur when someone you barely know had steps outside the rules of grammar.

• For a decade, scientist, government officials, physicians, journalist, public-service ads, TV shows, and movies have told us that AIDS is caused by a retrovirus called HIV.

Don't drink the KoolAIDS.  Embrace the plural.

• In The Washington Post.com I found that teen pregnancy has increased by 3% in the last ten years.  I also read that most likely those “1 in 3 girls will get pregnant before they turn 20 years old” according to DoSomething.org.  As of right now Nevada has the highest teenage birth rate per year an estimate of about 113 of 1000 girls will become pregnant.

How's that math work, again...?  Louisiana has the highest number of independent clauses getting knocked up per year.

Comments

[emma]

Did I read correctly that these are from final drafts?

[Daisy]

#1. In the ministry, this is referred to as "testifyin'", not "prophesyin'".

#2. Does Captain Obvious wear a cape to class?

#3. When people go around trusting that everybody has steps to their comfort zone, bad things are sure to occur.

#4. Don't be harsh: the only scientist this poor sap has ever heard of is Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and he's probably never heard the word "journalist" before, much less read the work of one.

#5. For years, scientist, government officials, physicians, and that poor journalist have been working to create a medication to erradicate C.D. (comma disfunction). Their finished product, "Grammara", has not been approved by the FDA, as side-effects include an increased blood-flow to the brain, and coherent speech that may last longer than four hours.

[Kathy]

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