"I'm Having A Conundrum." Har.

Conundrum wine is flavored in California's hip young school of ain't-we-iconoclastic. 

You can usually tell by the labels.  If the name is cute, it's usually like this.

Conundrum is a cloudy chaos of fruits and cocoa butter with a rubbing-alcohol finish.

All of which I could forgive.  Hell, I'm not a wine-snob.

But the metallic wrapping around the screw-cap? 

It shredded my fingers as I tried to pry it off tonight. 

There was blood all over my corkscrew lead-shredder.

It's war to the knife, Conundrum.  Defend yourself.